Couple Blog

OMG! Is text messaging killing language?

In his TED talk discussing the balancing act of texting, speech and writing, linguist John McWhorter explores linguistic shortcuts we take when with text and other messaging technology. Focusing specifically on terms like LOL and slash (a term used to quickly change the topic of conversation), he explains that these terms and others (“haha,” “yo,” “like,” and “umm”) function as “pragmatic particles” we’ve begun to use them to demonstrate empathy towards one another, not actual laughter out loud.

Texting is “a miraculous thing,” but to understand it we need to first take a look at the heart of language. At its very core, language is all about speech says McWhorter, and, on average, we speak in word “packets” of 7-10 words. For much of human existence, we’ve communicated with one another through language via speech, not by writing.  If humanity had only existed for 24 hours, he points out, written language would not appear until 11:07 PM.

Once upon a time, it was popular to speak the way we wrote. However, at some point this reversed and we began writing the way we speak. Until the advent of modern technology— specifically, the technologies that enable the rapid sending and receiving of messages— this sort of communicative exchange just wasn’t possible. Texting and other short message communications are a balancing act between spoken and written language, but it acts more as an “expansion of [our]” linguistic repertoire than anything else.

Because of this, texting is something that McWhorter calls “fingered speech,” a mode of communication where no one really thinks about the rules of capitalization and punctuation because they just don’t apply. The world as we know it isn’t coming to an end because we’ve adopted the word “bae” or “boo” to refer to a significant other instead of a flowery term like “my most precious darling.” Rather, the ubiquitous LOLs and hahas of short message speak are markers of linguistic duality, or the sort of fluency we gain when we frequently switch between different modes of communication. In terms of neuroscience, linguistic dualism has many of the same cognitive benefits of bilingualism, making those who are fluent in communication modes better multi-taskers who are more likely have longer attention spans.

Technological advancements are making it easier for language to evolve into a more fluid and expressive means of communication that mirrors the diction and patterns of spoken language. While the terminology prolific in texting and messaging apps may appear to be meaningless gibberish, to those communicating in that mode of speech, it is anything but.

Texting and short messaging are a “linguistic miracle happening right under our noses,” a whole new way of writing that we’re developing and in addition to our ordinary linguistic skills that may just be making us smarter.

Should we “Date Local?”

In an article for Slate, writer Barron YoungSmith paints a portrait of environmental ruin caused by the most unlikely of culprits: long distance relationships. “The planet is about to suffer for your love,” YoungSmith writes, proposing we adopt a movement to “date local.” Inspired by the movement to eat locally-grown foods, he suggests that we give up on long distance relationships entirely and become “locasexuals.”

But is the planet really being destroyed by our carbon-dioxide tainted long distance love? Let’s take a look at some of the claims made by the author:

“Since greenhouse gases emitted from high-altitude airplanes are thought to have several times the impact of ground transport, a carbon offset company would pin their romantic travels with the equivalent of 35 metric tons of CO2 each year. If that responsibility were divided evenly between the two, our sustainability consultant’s lifestyle would be about six times worse for the environment than that of the average gas-guzzling American—and up to 10 times worse than that of the average San Franciscan. (Indeed, for her, breaking up would be about 10 times better for the environment than going vegetarian.)”

While the numbers here seem scary, the measurements used to determine carbon offsets in air travel vary widely depending on the size of a plane and number of passengers on it. In many cases airlines even disagree on the amount of carbon needed to offset their shared routes, making the author’s argument about air travel shaky at best. Even if carbon-based claims of long distance relationships destroying the environment aren’t true, the author still argues that LDRs are ruining  our society, our health, and pretty much everything else under the sun. According to him:

• Long distance relationships make people “antisocial”

• “Long distance lovers erode civic commitment and social support networks” by “spending all of their free time out of town or staring at a webcam”

• “Out-of-town daters have less sex than local couples”

• “Long stretches of abstinence between visits could lead to negative health outcomes”

• Long distance couples are “vulnerable to economic shock and wearing away future standard of living b/c they spend money on travel that they might otherwise save

“Every one of these demons could be banished by simply dating local,” writes YoungSmith.

Or not.

At present, there are almost 312 million people living in the United States, 14 million of whom are one part of long distance relationship. Thus, in the grand scheme of things, approximately 4.5 percent of Americans are part of a long distance couple, a percentage hardly large enough to, say, destroy the environment or ruin the fabric of contemporary society. Many short-distance couples can confirm, close proximity to one’s partner is no guarantee of happiness or relationship success — or, regular sex, for that matter.  By suggesting that long distance couples “spend all of their free time out of town or staring at a webcam,” the author discredits the many independent individuals who do not rely entirely on their relationships for emotional fulfillment. When combined with the unreliability of carbon offset measurements and the fact that living a healthy lifestyle also provides many of the same health benefits as being in a relationship with another person, the portrait painted by YoungSmith begins to fade.

So, long distance lovebirds, if you get a nagging feeling about the impact your love has on the planet, you can always find a way to positively impact the environment with your partner. In the meantime, if you find yourself worried about staying in touch with your dearest between visits,  well— we’ve got an app for that.

Couple Stories: Sarah + Kurt

Today, we’re launching “Couple Stories,” a blog series where Couple users can share how they stay connected to the person they love the most. In our first-ever Couple Story, Sarah, a military wife, shares how she uses Couple to stay in touch with her husband Kurt who is currently serving in Afghanistan. Many, many thanks go to Sarah for taking the time to write this post.

My husband Kurt and I first met in high school and started dating our senior year. The thing that most attracted me to him, other than his good looks, was that when I asked him what he wanted to do with his life he had a plan. At 18 years old he knew exactly what he wanted in life, I always wanted to date and marry someone that had a plan. We dated long-distance for four years while we were getting our degrees. Once married, we moved to Tokyo, Japan for my husband’s first military assignment. 

We were there for a couple of years before being stationed at Davis-Monthan Air Base and had been here for about a year and a half when the deployment notice came down. I immediately started to look for tools that might help make the deployment process easier. I stumbled upon the Couple app on another military spouse’s blog. She recommended the app because it allowed her to keep an on-going and private conversation with her husband. My husband and I both downloaded the app to our iPads and iPhones and have been using it ever since!

In my experience, there are three keys to a long-distance relationship: communication, patience, and devotion. You must find the time to communicate with each other daily. This allows you to still be part of each other’s lives while being apart. Because I communicate with my husband every day it feels like he could be in the other room instead of thousands of miles away. You must be patient with your partner, yourself, and with the length of separation. There are times when I want to start a fight because I am upset with the way he says or does something but then I ask myself, ‘what good would come from that?’ If my actions would only cause us pain then I refuse to act on those impulses. Finally, you have to be willing to devote yourself to the relationship in ways that not many people can understand. Working on your relationship to make it stronger is 10x harder when the person is far away, but also 10x more important. Keeping the love alive is a challenge each couple faces but how they meet that challenge is different for each couple. Focus on creating opportunities for honest communication that allow you to strengthen the ties that already hold you together.

We love the app because it is easy to use and allows us to keep up regular communication despite being thousands of miles apart. We especially appreciate that the app can be password protected. Our communication with each other can be honest, without the fear that someone will read what we say. I especially like to use Couple to send him notes while he is sleeping. I have a terrible memory and this app allows me to remind him and myself of something important I needed to talk with him about when he wakes.

Couple is more than a text messaging app, my husband and I communicate with pictures, drawings, and voice recordings. We can also use the thumbkiss to feel closer to one another. I can even let him know my location so that he knows how soon I will be home in order to Facetime.

I recommend Couple to all my friends who have deployed spouses or who are in a long-distance relationships. But now that I have used it for many months I believe that we will use it even when my husband comes home. It helps Kurt and I stay connected in so many ways, and we will use it even when he comes home to stay close.

Do you have a Couple story that you’d like to share? Send an email to jessy@couple.me, and your story could be here!

Microsoft Social Media Collective Studying Couple Users

Calling all Couple users!

Today, we are giving a signal boost to the Social Media Collective at Microsoft Research, a team of social scientists who need the help of Couple users to do a study on “microsocial network apps.” In a call for participants from their blog, researcher Joshua McVeigh-Schultz says, “While there is a ton of research on scalable social networking sites like Facebook or Twitter, not much has been done to look at people’s experiences in these small micro social platforms. We are looking to change that!”

For their study of relational communication within our app, they need:

• Any and all kinds of couples to participate— romantic couples, friends, parent-child, sibling, etc.

• Couples who can come to Cambridge, MA within the next few weeks.

• Couples who are willing to share their timeline with the research team.  

If you meet this criteria, drop them an email here, or learn more about their research!

For the purposes of their study, Couple users will have some control over how they share their information with researchers. Participants will remain anonymous, and any information captured from their timelines will be cleared of identification information. As a display of gratitude from the research team, all participants will receive a $20 gift card.

Couple Privacy: Keeping Your Secrets Safe

When we first set out to build Couple, we did so with privacy and intimacy in mind. In the wake of the numerous privacy issues surrounding photo-sharing and messaging apps, we want to take a few moments and discuss how we keep your most private moments safe and sound.

Most vulnerabilities in photo-sharing & messaging apps are concentrated in the databases where images are stored. Thus, the majority of our privacy efforts are concentrated here. We have implemented a number of procedures to protect all of the information you share with your partner that include:

• The in-app “Secrets” feature limits exactly how long a particular photo can be viewed by your partner. Whether a most intimate photo or time-limited candid, this ensures the utmost protection based on criteria you choose.

• Expired “Secrets” are immediately deleted from our servers and cannot be retrieved by anyone. Not the sender, not the receiver, not us, not the Internet gods. That’s it: gone forever. Poof, voila!

We’ve built Couple to be a safe, secure place where you can confidently share anything with your significant other. We consider privacy our utmost concern and constantly work to protect and secure your most private moments from prying eyes. If you have any questions or concerns about privacy, take a look at our FAQ or drop us an email at support@couple.me.

Share Your Love in Every Language

 The language of love is universal, but the words we use to convey the feeling? Well… not so much.  That’s why we are announcing The Couple Translation project, a project to help couples share their love through Couple in every language.

Everyone can apply to be involved, even you! We are looking for:

• Translators, who will help translate Couple into different languages,

• Language ambassadors, special individuals to review translations and ensure that our translations are correct and high quality.

• *Super critical need for Japanese, Korean, Russian, Spanish and Chinese translators.

Want to see Couple in your language? Come and help translate Couple to your language by signing up for an account at http://translate.couple.me.

Interested in becoming a language ambassador? Send us an email to translate@couple.me and let us know and we’ll get you set up. 

For any other questions— or if you just really, really want to use Couple in Klingon, Quenya, or a language not listed here — drop a line to richerd@couple.me or jessy@couple.me.

Does the Internet enable Intimacy?

“Yes, “ according to Stefana Broadbent, a cognitive scientist and professor of Digital Anthropology at the University College of London. In a popular TED talk, she explores how people use technology to break down the institutional barriers of school, work, and community that attempt to curb personal communication in daily life. Is our day-to-day technology use improving our relationships with others? And in the age of social media, are we using our networks to communicate with as many people as possible?  

Not really, Broadbent discovered: the average person is in regular contact with just 5-7 people. After studying the communication habits of hundreds of people, she found that:

• the average Facebook user has 120 friends, but engages regularly with only 4-6 people,

• users of instant messaging average about 100 contacts, but chat with just 2-4 of them,

• Skype users tend to communicate regularly with 2 contacts,

• people are using video communications to spend time with faraway loved ones.

“When given the possibility,” she writes, “ most people want to be able to keep in touch with their personal social sphere whenever they want or feel the need for it.” Alternately, people are willing to text under the table and otherwise circumvent policies in schools and in the workplace for a few precious words with a loved one or their partners. In fact, she notes in the TED talk, a Pew Research Center study found 50% of email access, 75% of phone calls and 100% of text messages sent and received in the workplace are personal communications with partners, spouses, or family members.

“SMS is to tell you I miss you, email is to organize our dinner, voice is to say I’m late, and IM is to continue our conversation,” says Broadbent. And as smartphones and tablet devices become more accessible than ever to the average person, it’s no surprise to see that chat apps like WhatsApp, iMessage and Kik have surpassed the use of text messaging in daily communication. Social media networks are also used to specialize social contact: we use Facebook to connect with the wider world , networks like Path to connect with a small circle of friends, and apps like Couple to stay in close contact with a partner.

Though technology allows us to keep in touch with more people in more ways than ever, what’s most important is close, frequent contact with those who matter to us the most. As we increase the number of tools we use with our loved ones, however, it is almost impossible to create a complete record of the communication we have with one person, a problem we’ve set out to solve by building a private place for all of your most intimate exchanges with the person you love the most.

Google Play Staff Picks Feature!

Woohoo, happy days! We’ve been featured as a Staff Pick by Google Play! It’s a great honor to be hand picked as an App to Watch and we’d like to send a big hug and thank you to all our users. We could never have been featured without you. To the good folks at Google Play, a huge thank you for noticing us and deeming Couple worthy of sharing. A few of our favorites in the current crop of Google Play Staff Picks are:  

New updates for iOS and Android!

Hi everyone,
Hope your Mother’s Day weekend (here in the U.S.) was filled with the enchantment and joy only family can bring! Our Couple family on the other hand, was tucked away in the basement working hard on improvements to Couple… we present to you, new updates for both iOS and Android!

iOS update 
Videos from Library
You asked and we answered. You can now select videos from your phone library. Just tap on +, the video icon, and select Library. Go crazy!

Direct Call button
Call to tell your partner about your hot new shoes. Enter your partner’s phone number in Settings and you’re set. (Please note the call button links to your phone’s regular call option. Your service provider’s phone charges will apply.)

Delay on Security Code requirement
Set a delay time on when the security passcode is required after you minimize Couple. Go into Settings, Require Security Code, and set a time that suits you. No more prying eyes!

  Android update
Call Feature
Hear the warm sound of your partner’s voice with a simple tap of the call button at the upper right corner. Set up your partner’s phone number in Settings and you’re good to go. (Please note that the call button is a link to your phone’s regular call option. Your service provider’s regular phone charges will apply. )

New and Improved Camera
Here’s Ollie, the Twitterrific mascot we received from Cute Fight and Twitterrific. (Thank you!) Our redesigned camera makes Ollie look extra cute with five different filters. (With more on the way because everything looks cooler through a filter.) Try them out and share your photos with us on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram.

  Secret feature
Can you keep a secret? Tap on the lock icon at the lower right of the screen to set your photo to be a Secret or to Self Destruct. For all the Mr. and Mrs. Smiths out there. 

Delay on Security Code Requirement
Choose your desired time frame in Settings and minimize Couple without needing to enter your security code every single time. Convenience and security rolled into one.

 We hope you enjoy these new features and that they help further enhance your most important relationship. We welcome your feedback and hope to hear from you soon!

As always, if you have any questions or concerns about the new update, please let us know and we will work with you to resolve them.

Download Couple for  iOS in Apple iTunes or Android in Google Play
Rate Couple in Apple iTunes or Google Play

(By the way, Couple is cross-platform compatible so all you star-crossed-platform lovers are cool too.)

Happy Birthday, Couple!

One year ago today, we officially introduced Couple to the world. It’s been an amazing year, and the first thing we want to say is thank you to you, our amazing users.

After launching at Y Combinator’s Demo Day last spring, we moved our team operations to San Francisco. Based on your suggestions, we created fun new features such as Secret, Shared Dates and Audio Notes. We made sharing those special moments even easier with Listening Music Status and more photo filters. And, thanks to all of you, Couple recently hit one million registered users!

Every day, we hear stories about surprise dates, anniversaries, and touching moments made possible by Couple. We get e-mails from users who love Couple and are passionate about making it better. Without our users, Couple would not be what it is today.

So today, on our first birthday, we would like to thank each and every one of you. We look forward to growing with you and sharing the many moments to come.

Love,
Couple Team