More than any
other feature in Couple, there’s one little thing everyone wonders about, but no one dares to ask:
What happens when you “Unpair” from your partner?
While the technological aspects of an unpairing are simple, the circumstances that lead up to hitting that little button at the bottom of the “Settings” menu are anything but. Here are a few of the most common questions that we’ve found users afraid to ask:
Why do people unpair?
Couples unpair for many, many reasons. Through our communications with couples that have recently split, however, we’ve noticed that the majority of unpairings fall into these three categories.
Unpairs of Passion: These are the unpairings usually happen in the middle of a fiery argument or intense disagreement. After a day or so, when tempers have cooled and feelings have returned to even keel, unpairs of passion usually blow over and many couples pair again by sending an invite to reconnect… until the next juicy argument, that is!
The Break: In comparison to an “Unpair of Passion,” the “break” may last for a few days or weeks, but rarely ever longer than an entire month. More often than not, couples who unpair in these circumstances do so to get some space from each other and their relationship. Sometimes, especially in the case of “the break”, an unpairing is not the end of a relationship. Rather, an unpairing is a way to send a very loud and clear message that things in a relationship can’t continue as they are, and that new patterns need to be created for old bad habits broken.
The Permasplit: This is the absolute most unkindliest unpair of all with the most hurty feelings attached to it. For couples going through the permasplit, once you unpair… it’s over, really, really over and (apologies for quoting Taylor Swift) you are never, ever, ever getting back together. Survivors of the permasplit liken it to a digital divorce, though some are unable to determine what makes them the more upset about the breakup, losing their partner or losing access to their favorite Couple features.
What happens when you unpair?
The first thing that will happen when you unpair is that you will lose access to the content you’ve created and shared with your partner. When you enter the app post-unpair, you’ll be taken back to the login screen, and you won’t be able to see your timeline or moments anymore. There’s no need to worry, however: your timeline, moments, and the record of all of your exchanges with your partner has not been permanently wiped from the face of the earth.
Where does your timeline go?
After an unpairing, we do not automatically delete your moments and your timeline– instead, we hold on to them for safekeeping in the event that you and your partner pair again. If you’re in the middle of a permanent unpairing (aka hurt feelings central), and you’d like for us to wipe any record of your timeline from the face of the earth, we can do that, but bear in mind that deletion is permanent and data is irretrievable once the process is complete. All we need from you to make it happen is an email to support @couple.me requesting that we delete your data. (Total timeline annihilation, anyone?)
When does an unpairing take effect?
Unpairings take place immediately after confirming that you’d like to initiate your Couple-split from your partner, if for no other reason than the sake of sanity of all involved. (Do you really want your now ex-partner to be able to all caps yell and send angry stickers after a breakup? Didn’t think so!)
Unpairing is different for every couple, but it does not need to be a painful or difficult process. For some Couples, logging out of the app for a few days is enough to regain a sense of space and self during hard times. For others, the message sent with an “unpair” is important, and breaking bad habits or the unhealthy patterns of communication in a relationship are necessary to ensure its success and longevity. Breaking up is hard to do– but when it needs to happen, a clean break is always best, especially if you hope to find your way back to one another again.
What questions do you have about unpairing from your partner? Have you survived an unpair and lived to tell the tale? Share your experience with us in the comments!