Couple Column: Getting Digital with Your Partner


While your partner may have committed to being a big part of your life, he didn’t agree to being the subject of research study that you’ll canadian pharmacy modafinil be conducting on the internet (Google ALL the boyfriends!) or a character that will appear on your social media feeds whenever you’re in the middle of a disagreement. Sure, you can delete photos, hide tweets, and erase status messages– but no combination of buttons can buy cialis online canada paypal make him unsee a passive-aggressive blog post that may well end in a breakup you never, ever wanted before your relationship ever truly began.

If there’s one thing that you’ll get sick of me writing, it’s this: technology makes relationships much, much more complicated than ever before. Protecting your heart– and your partner’s– in the very beginning will give you a better chance at having a successful relationship, and will protect both of you cheapdiscountpharma in the age of internet oversharing.

One of the first hurdles to cross in 21st century relationshipping is a very, very new problem: the search engine. Never before in history has information about anyone and anything been so readily and quickly available– and naturally, when someone new and handsome comes into the picture…

A word of advice about Google: don’t do it, gurl, oh no no no. Running the search to end all internet searches in the early stages of dating

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will take the fun out of getting to know him– you’ll know about where he went to school, his friends, his job, his hobbies, and that summer in Madrid before he even has the opportunity to tell cialis coupons walgreens you about it himself.

Just like Google before it, Facebook is another hurdle to cross on the path to building a relationship with a new squeeze. For those of us who began using Facebook in college, it redefined the way that we share our relationships with friends and family. Some of our profiles are almost 9 years old– that’s a third grader, FYI– and they hold the keys to the majority of our real-life relationships, memories and friendships and experiences that have built us into who we are today. Because viagra walmart price the relationship status update has the highest visibility of almost all News Feed items, changing anything about it will result in all eyes in your social network being on you.

Though many couples are quick to friend one another in the beginning, we should be wary, very wary of making all of that history accessible to just anyone in three clicks or less. Facebook has the ultimate power to wreak havoc on relationships, be that by creating fights out of thin air, or planting seeds of insecurity in the minds of lovers one relationship status request at a time. If you’ve ever seen an epic battle break out between another couple, or found yourself wondering, “Why hasn’t he accepted my relationship status request yet? Why didn’t he like my picture yet? Who is that girl who keeps posting on his wall and is he flirting with her? JERK!” you’ve experienced that destructive force firsthand. It’s one thing to follow your partner on Twitter or friend him on Facebook– but it’s another entirely to engage with him. Whether you’ve declared a relationship status or not, it’s wise to have rules about how and when it is most appropriate to use technology with one another. To avoid ending up on STFU couples, it’s wise to keep fights and disagreements away from prying eyes. It’s one thing to share the flowers he sent to work– another to share screenshots and private communications with all eleventy five million people you know who may automatically side with you (and create more problems) on the internet.

So when should you take to the internet with the goal of linking yourself and your beloved? That depends on the kind of couple you are, and how quickly you become parts of each other’s lives. Whether you decide to friend and follow or not, you can still find sweet ways to share your life with him without ever needing to tag him or use his name. If viagra coupon 2015 you’re going to integrate technology into your romantic relationship at any stage, do so thoughtfully, and with the best interests of the love you’re building in mind. The more time you invest in technology on the public stage as a means to maintain your relationship, the more power technology has to make or break it.

— xo Tess

About Tess

I'm the weekly columnist at Couple who writes about all things dating, relationships and technology.

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